So. Today I have thought about a lot of things. Where am I going? What Am I going to DO with my life? Who am I going to see? And, I have a few answers. First off, I am going to go to Heaven. That is my main goal. And to do that, I need to change. I have done, and still sometimes do, things that I am not proud of, or proud to admit. I'm human, we all are, and we all make mistakes. Also, I have looked more at my life. I used to think that God did not answer my prayers, and because of that, I had a lot of times where I lost my faith, was angry at God, and those who followed him, seemingly blind to the troubles around them, or so it would seem to me at the time. Then I realized, It wasn't God who wasn't listening, it was ME. Many times I had asked for someone to come into my life who would understand me, who I could just be open to, and I thought I knew what that meant. I thought I knew best, and what I thought was for someone who would love me, and who I could love. A Companion, not the person I needed. But now I see, that he DID answer my prayer, the first time I asked for it. And that Answer came in the Form of a girl, Laesha Yeager. And for the first time, I see that she has actually helped me regain what faith I had lost. I also saw that my pain was being self inflicted, by lowering myself to the standards of my old friends, just to keep them as friends. No longer. The friends who I can be me with are the only ones that matter, and everyone else just keep me from being who I need to be, For God! So, I have changed now. No longer will I be "Nice Boy Caleb" or "The Silent One" or even the "Angry one". Life is too short. Material things matter little when my soul is at stake. So, Goodbye, friends. And Goodbye sin. And Hello, God, and all those I Love. Now all that comes is learning to Trust again. Wish me Luck, and My God be with you. God's Love!
